It's crazy, right?

To love someone who hurt you.

It's crazier to think that,

someone who loves you, hurt you.

(Tenth Circle)

Photos. ><

Looked at all my old photos.

I looked so happy.  ._.

Now I'm just unsure.

And doubtful.

Yea, I act happy around him now.

But why should I tell him that I'm try so very hard?

I already stopped caring.

And Justin is right. :x "When one stops caring, it's not really a relationship anymore. If you keep making him happy, when he finds out you were faking it, it'll hurt him so much more."

At the time, I wanted to say, "Good." cause I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me for a whole year. But then again. It's my fault, cause I put myself in the situation. But he gave me so much hope. Just like how he's doing to her.

But like I said, I stopped caring. And if I DO decide to be a bitch, :x and make him sooo happy. Then turn around and leave. Then he'll never wanna think of me again. It'll hurt for me. >< cause honestly? I <3 heem. D: I still <3 him very much. But there's so many things I can't take anymore. So many things I've just grown tired of dealing with.

On the side note?

I WANT A NEW JOB. >_________< Ireallyreallyreallymissmypetstore.

I didn't stray from him.

He lost me.

It's not my fault.

He let go of the leash for a moment.

Lol, OH WAIT. There was never a leash lolololol.

Someone save me.

Someone be my escape.

From all these thoughts and insecurites.

Please, I'm begging you. ._.

I swear to gooooooood, if he's lying again. I WILL leave off the bat. Who cares? He he doesn't anymore. He won't face the truth that as long as we're together, she'll be there. She'll ALWAY fucking be there. He can't do anything about it. In fact, I don't think he's HELPING at all. If anything he's giving her more hope. I don't know what he wants anymore. But it's obviously not me anymore.  fjkwaelfjwaofjawieofjwajfiwakofwlaekfawlek But he promised. HE PROMISED. D: And that fucks with me. He ruined me. D: He made me such a spiteful, paranoid, rhiewfjiowafewaljfwakl person. All because I had to hold everything in. All because I just made him happy. The happy is gone now, so why is he still keeping me? He's prolly just waiting for me to leave. But nu, I want him to tell me to leave. Why? So I won't have any guilt when I do. I want to leave knowing that he didn't want me there anymore. It's just nice to have closure imo. ._. Fuck it. D: I'm just going to stop giving affection. :x He's getting attention from others anyway, I think that's enough for him. I'm tired of this. ._. Always thinking bad thoughts, always trying to keep it in. And when I confront him? When I finally get the guts to talk to him about it, he tells me to shut up. Wow, just wow. - -;;

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